By Brian Mitchell, Managing Partner & CEO.
Life has many tests. People test us. Circumstances test us. Challenges and opportunities test us and one is often masked as the other. How we approach these tests and who we become by enduring those trials shape who we are, what we believe, and what is important to us. Our own self-worth ultimately defines our character and who we strive to be. This is our value and stems from our values.
Value has two related contexts. There’s value in terms of worth, usefulness, benefit, utility, good, service, amount, and other synonymic examples of merit. Then there’s value in terms of principles, ethics, priorities, standards, morals, and codes of behavior – our values. In life and business, we will all meet certain inflection points where we are forced to make a decision that reflects our value and our values (or lack thereof).
- Perhaps you value family, but your career choice requires 70-hour weeks or 50% travel. How do you choose?
- Perhaps you feel the calling of an entrepreneurial pursuit, but you’re fiscally risk averse. How do you proceed?
- Perhaps you love your current work/team/culture, but are being recruited for a bigger, more lucrative role at another company where you don’t know those givens. It’s a risk to leave and lose that, but it’s a risk to pass on what might be an even better opportunity.
- Does a sacrifice in the short/mid-term open up a sea of flexibility or security or satisfaction in the long-term?
Knowing our value and values tend to keep us on the right path even if we endure some additional pain along the way. We all know someone who passed on a relationship or career move, which seemed crazy at face value, but when that person is guided by their principles over anything else, we also hold them in great regard. What is that worth to you? And one way or another, these people seem to win in the end. I’d argue that owning one’s self-respect is priceless. We also know plenty of people who are willing to screw over someone else, even their own family, friends, or colleagues, en route to some personal gain. Is it worth it? If loyalty is not a core value, then perhaps it is. If your reputation is sullied and bridges are burned, how does that get restored? Will it come back to bite you? Even if it’s for purely self-serving purposes, is the short-term ‘win’ more important than the long-term need to be perceived as honorable? It’s up to the person in the mirror. Most of us have core values, but how do we proceed when one value might conflict with another? How do we know our most important values?
It is a phenomenal revelatory exercise to invest the time to review what guides us and answer the questions:
1. When were you happiest? Who were you with? What other factors contributed to your contentment?
2. When were you most proud? Was it shared with others? What other factors contributed?
3. When were you most fulfilled and satisfied? What desire or priority was met or exceeded? How and why did these times give you and your life meaning?
4. What are your top priorities? Kindness, success, generosity, loyalty, family, security, philanthropy, excellence, balance, competitiveness, wealth, fitness, community, belonging, faith, strength, freedom, self-control, expressiveness, honesty, creativity, structure, love, legacy, unity, empathy, discipline, leadership, justice, impact, vitality, enjoyment, stability, intelligence, etc. etc.
5. We can’t all be everything! What are the top 8 or 10 values of importance to you? Rank and reaffirm these values like a mantra.
I’ve been thinking a lot about values in recent months. Sometimes personal challenges can illuminate what is most important, what you stand for, and how to ensure you stay on the right path and live with a centered code. I’ve recognized that dedicated deliberation and conscious review of “why do I do what I do?” is incredibly cleansing and helps tighten our personal rudder. I’d encourage spending an hour listing the values most important to you, understanding why they are so important, and which are non-negotiable with yourself. We only have one life and living it by valuing our personal values is the only way.